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One way you can get some quick cash is to sell scrap metal to your local salvage yard or recycling center.  One DailyFinance blogger's co-worker bought a used camper for just over $600 and took his old one to get scrapped.  The scrap value of his camper almost paid for his new camper purchase.

We want to focus on the legal ways to get some money from scrap metal so first we need to find some. If you are remodeling or have unused copper pipes in your house it may be worth pulling them out and heading to the salvage yard. If pipes are out of reach, check out your garage, basement or shed, where I am guessing you can find something to salvage. This endeavor may be especially profitable if you have been something of a packrat in this metal treasure trove of yours.

Don't have a room or building full of old odds and ends at your disposal? You can still get in on the salvaging action! The first places to check are any refuse areas around your neighborhood, where you can look for discarded metal objects. If dumpster diving disgusts you then, look at your neighbor's property. Do they have an old swing set nobody uses or a garage packed full of "junk"? If so you can either be upfront and split the profits with them under the pretense that you'll do the heavy lifting, or you can offer to "clean up" their garage as a neighborly favor!

Dealing with a negative parent

Dealing with a negative parent
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My father's paranoia and controlling behavior is driving me up the wall. What I can do to calm him down?

My father used to be somewhat laidback, but around 10 years ago he started changing into a very uptight person. It gets worse and worse, year after year.

He nags, complains, and criticizes ALL THE TIME. I seem to be his favorite target. He blows up over the smallest things. For example, when I come home, sometimes I absent-mindedly drop my keys and purse on the sofa. For some reason, it really drives him crazy. I understand it is uncool to have clutter in the living room. But, I don't see what the big deal is. When he tells me to move my stuff, I just go down and move it. But, that's not good enough for him. When I did it Friday, he blurted out "What is WRONG with you? Why can't you act like a civilized person? You are SO disrespectful to me. NO one would EVER want to live with you in the future!"

Ninety-five percent of our major arguments are over very minor issues like what I mentioned above. One of the biggest arguments we had was over me leaving the dishwasher door open around last Christmas. He was being so vile that my mother threatened to leave him. And, that wasn't the first time and the last time, that my mother threatened to divorce my father because of the way he treated me.

As for the controlling part...he believes that he should dictate my every move. Sometimes when we go to the store or visit other people, he makes me change my clothing or hairstyle. It's not like I wear dirty or unflattering clothing. Or, dress inappropriately for the occasion, I don't wear jeans to weddings or whatever. I do wear jeans and t-shirts when I'm not going anywhere formal. He's embarrassed that I don't dress "feminine" enough for him. He constantly try to talk me into wearing skirts and heavier make-up. He didn't let me get a haircut until I started college. At my age, I don't believe that he should have any say, unless I wear something outrageous.

As for the paranoia part...he claims that I just don't respect him, whenever I don't do things like dress the way he wants me to or if I leave a cup on the counter and don't put it away immediately. He claims that people period don't respect him. Again, over little stuff, whenever he sees litter in his yard, he believes that people do it on purpose because they are jealous of his car (just a mustang), wife, and house. We live around a lot of teenagers, they litter EVERYWHERE, I see it all the time. And there's always the wind, which can blow anything in our yard. Another example, he recently flipped out because I didn't notice a spare pair of shoes that belonged to one of my friends, in my car. He claimed that they could've left drugs in them, and possibly did it to frame me.

I know I can't change his nature (very perfectionistic and pessimistic), but I want to know how I can handle him. Moving out is NOT an option, right now. And, speaking of moving out, the strange thing is that he does not want me to move out until I get married.

(33 answers total)

Moving out is an option. Of course it is. And I say that not to bully you or undermine what you're saying - but to maybe help you change your perspective and feel better about the situation. You are an adult and you're choosing your life right now. Maybe you couldn't move out and go to school, or move out and continue to have your days free, but you can move out. So it's not that your life is great except you have to live in his house - it's that your life is great and in order to facilitate the rest of it you choose to live in his house. There's a difference. Honestly, I don't think anyone's going to be able to give you any advice for living happily with him... if your mother has repeatedly threatened divorce over this very issue, then no amount of "hey dad, we have to talk, it hurts me when..." is going to make any difference. For as long as you choose to live with him, you're just going to have to keep your head down and try to avoid conflict (or let him say what he likes, and work on learning not to care).

Parents don't always "get" their kids. This is the advice someone gave me, then I passed it onto my two little sisters. Do everything you can to accommodate your parents until you can move out. If you are at the age where you feel like your parents should have no say, then you are at the age where you should be able to support yourself.

What I can do to calm him down?

It sounds like you can't do anything but avoid him.

I didn't notice a spare pair of shoes that belonged to one of my friends, in my car. He claimed that they could've left drugs in them, and possibly did it to frame me.

He sounds nuts. I bet you will get responses that say he has this or that disorder. But who cares? You can't fix him no matter what it is. You only get to control you. Use this to your advantage -- it's liberating.

Moving out is NOT an option, right now.

You know this is the advice everyone will give anyway, right? From where I'm sitting it looks like the only solution. The best thing you can do is work on making it an option. You are in the same situation as in Mother troubles except you are an adult. What a better position you are in because of that!

your dad sounds like he is mentally ill and has issues with control. if you stay in the home until you are married, then he will have more control over you. for some reason, he is terrified of being dishonored, and thinks that if you stay in his home and pretend to be an obedient, feminine little girl for as long as possible, somehow he will protect his honor and masculinity.

i don't know why moving out is not an option, but if you feel it isn't, then you must find ways of coping with it. perhaps you can see a therapist who can help you find ways of dealing with such a toxic environment?

in the meantime, i would recommend playing along with it. just avoid invoking his rage as much as possible, and find a line you can repeat when he gets into his rages. "yes, father, you're right, father, i will try to do better." and remember that he is WRONG. you are worthy of love, and there is someone out there who would be delighted to spend the rest of his life with you.

but that kind of playacting can really wear you down, so have an exit plan. save up every penny you can to move out as soon as you can. yes, you may incur his wrath, but HE IS ILL. you do not have to be a slave to his impaired reasoning. it sounds like your mom is on your side, so you have an ally.

it will not be easy, but it may be the best thing for your mental health in the long run.

moxiedoll has the right of it - there isn't a good solution to this, because the 'problem' doesn't think that they are the problem. He wants respect but doesn't give respect to anyone else, I guess because he feels that he deserves it regardless of his actions.

Arguing with someone like this won't help. I wonder whether it would be worth trying to disengage - don't argue the point, just don't take it seriously - and start working on an exit plan as soon as possible, per thinkingwoman.

Moving out is an option. Of course it is. And I say that not to bully you or undermine what you're saying - but to maybe help you change your perspective and feel better about the situation. You are an adult and you're choosing your life right now. Maybe you couldn't move out and go to school, or move out and continue to have your days free, but you can move out. So it's not that your life is great except you have to live in his house - it's that your life is great and in order to facilitate the rest of it you choose to live in his house.

No, it is not an option, unless I couchsurf at friends houses or go on welfare or something. Employment is not an option right now, because of several health reasons. I can't get some of the health problems treated because I don't have health insurance. I can't live on my own without steady income.

Can you illuminate us as to the nature of these health reasons? You are anonymous to us and have shared so much with us already anyhoo. A few more details can maybe help us help you.

No, it is not an option, unless I couchsurf at friends houses or go on welfare or something. Employment is not an option right now, because of several health reasons. I can't get some of the health problems treated because I don't have health insurance. I can't live on my own without steady income.

To me, this is really the problem. The only viable solution to the situation described in the original post is to move out. If you can't move out because of something else, then THAT is the problem.

Still, understand that moving out is an option. Whether you can afford to do it right this second or not, it's still an option. For example: I can't afford to buy a car right now. That doesn't mean I will never have a car. It means if I want a car, I need to take certain steps to make it happen.

You have medical problems which prevent you from working. You have no health insurance to take care of the problems. Instead of focusing on your father, spend your energy trying to find a solution to this problem. Maybe that means taking a different kind of job than you had considered before, maybe it means borrowing to get your healh issues cleared up, maybe it means something else, but as long as you take the attitude that "moving is not an option" you're going to be stuck in that house.

Make the decision to change your situation, nobody else can do it for you.

you're in grad school—have you investigated getting insurance through school? graduate housing? working on campus?

Can you illuminate us as to the nature of these health reasons? You are anonymous to us and have shared so much with us already anyhoo. A few more details can maybe help us help you.

One of them, I think it is simply TMI and not comfortable disclosing it, but fortunately it seems to be getting better if I take care of myself. *Sigh*...I hope this one will be believed...I CANNOT stay awake for the life of me. I sleep and sleep and sleep. No matter how much sleep I had the night before, sometimes during the day I just pass out. It is really weird, it's almost like an attack. I've lost several jobs falling asleep and have been kicked out of numerous classes. Caffiene and stimulant medication (that I used for another condition) sometimes help, but it really aggravates the first problem, and I don't have health insurance for the pills. I suspect I have undiagnosed narcolepsy or hypersomnia.

 father sounds like a more extreme version of my father. Fortunately, I was able to move out when I went to college (far away from home). My mother has gone into counseling and learned how to better deal with my dad (he refuses to go). He has since mellowed out a little bit. Your dad's behaviour seems a bit crazy, and the fact that he didn't used to be like this makes it seem like this could be a medical problem or at the very least that he needs some kind of help. There is very little that you are going to be able to do to deal with him. The only way I survived was by not being home very much and staying in my room when I was.

As far as what you can do to help yourself -- your college should have counseling services offered usually free of charge to help you emotionally deal with your situation. Ask at your school's health center. If money is a problem, there are people at your school who can help you figure out a way to pay for it, and if moving out and living on your own is even an option (it may be -- college financial counselors are experts at helping their students find money for school and living expenses).

Barring that, do you have a trusted friend whose house you could hang out at? Does your school have lounges that off campus students can use? I agree with others that a temporary solution would be avoiding being at home as much as possible. You could also try separating your space as much as possible from his. I have a friend who lives at home who has a separate entrance she uses to get to her own room and bathroom; it's like her own little apartment.

Hang in there! Life will get better, and you will find a way out of this! (Please see if you can get some counseling)

I'm a parent of two teens who I am preparing for an early nest exit. They are great people, and we listen to each other, and treat each other with courtesy. Here's the thing. It's my house. I like my house to be neat. I like my kitchen to be cleaned after the dishes. My son has admitted to me that his cleaning standards aren't as high as mine. He doesn't really care if his dishes are done or the countertops are wiped down. He's practically a legal adult, and we both know, I can't make him do anything he doesn't want to. On the upside, he loves and respects me and tries to make sure he meets my standards. On the downside, he just doesn't get it - he doesn't care about whether the kitchen is clean, and my liking for it is just a little bizarre to him, consequently, he doesn't often do a very good job.

Sometimes I get tired of his attitude and speak quietly to him and ask him, again, to try harder. He appreciates that I don't shout at him, and increases his effort for a short while. So here I am left in MY house that other people mess up. Yes, following metafilter's usual advice, I could kick him out, but I would rather he completed his education first. And while I'm at it, it'd be nice if he'd shave, and buy new clothes instead of wearing those daggy things around.

Your father's house, sixcolors. His house, and it doesn't matter how many times he asks you, you think it doesn't matter. You just mess up his living room, and dump your keys wherever, because it doesn't matter - to you.

Now, possibly, your father may not be as liberal or tolerant as I am, and the clothes choices you make may irritate him and he might not know ways of expressing that in a loving and polite manner. But even if he did, what notice would you take, because you're an adult right, and it's your choice?

Do you see what I'm getting at here? You get the adult rights (live how you want, see who you want, dress how you want) while living like a child (in your parents house, by your parents' income). So be an adult, even if you have to have them support you, and try to fit in.

Lastly, you can't get a job because of your health? Let me see - you can drive, because you have a car that your friend left a shoe in? Maybe you could be a taxi driver, courier, pizza deliverer part-time. You can type questions at metafilter? Maybe you could transcribe university lecturers research interviews. Sometimes, we can't afford to wait until all the circumstances are right before we take charge of our lives.

I think counseling will be out the question. He doesn't trust therapists, or even medical doctors. When I used to get treated for severe depression, he tried to talk me out of seeing the therapists and taking the medication.

He also think my health and psychological problems are a result of lack of willpower. That seriously seriously HURTS me.

Lastly, you can't get a job because of your health? Let me see - you can drive, because you have a car that your friend left a shoe in? Maybe you could be a taxi driver, courier, pizza deliverer part-time. You can type questions at metafilter? Maybe you could transcribe university lecturers research interviews. Sometimes, we can't afford to wait until all the circumstances are right before we take charge of our lives.

I have been looking into alternative forms of employment. Why do you think I have been trying to learn freelance photography and graphic design? If I happen to fall asleep at home, which I do several times a day, I won't get canned. But, yes, I agree finding a less traditional job seems to be only option right now.

Counseling for you is out of the question? He doesn't have to know that you are going to talk to some one. Also, at my university there are often jobs for grad students that offer housing as part of the deal (RAs in some dormitories or sorority houses and other assistantships). Your problems aren't because of a lack of willpower, although it will take some effort on your part to get out of your situation. There is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking help for your health issues.

Counseling for you is out of the question? He doesn't have to know that you are going to talk to some one. Also, at my university there are often jobs for grad students that offer housing as part of the deal (RAs in some dormitories or sorority houses and other assistantships). Your problems aren't because of a lack of willpower, although it will take some effort on your part to get out of your situation. There is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking help for your health issues.

I meant counseling for him. There is no way he'll agree to see a therapist for his problem.

As for jobs at my U, been there done that. Fired for sleeping problems, two different jobs. One of them for falling asleep, and another for making a huge mistake because I was super drowsy which really reduces my mental functioning. I've been applying for more jobs there, but I'm not being hired, probably because of that bad reputation.
posted by sixcolors at 7:53 PM on August 24, 2008

Ignore your dad. Let him say what he's going to say, then do what you're going to do.
posted by kldickson at 8:04 PM on August 24, 2008

Seems like your dad is verging on the abusive. Fact is, you can leave, but it's not going to happen until you decide that your autonomy is more important than appeasing those who hurt you. You can never make your dad stop being a tool, but you can take matters into your own hands and get out on your terms.
posted by sian at 8:35 PM on August 24, 2008

To my mind you have two problems far more serious than your relationship with your father, that should be given higher priority:

1. You have narcolepsy, or something resembling it.

2. Your dad has some kind of mental illness. Based on the timing and progression it sounds a lot like Huntington's to me, but that's just what I'm personally familiar with and IANAD. It could be just about anything, but the key point here is that it could get dramatically worse and could cause him symptoms far worse than paranoia and personality issues.

More importantly, it could be something treatable and he could get back to normal. The same goes for you.

I know I'm not answering your question, but these two things are at the root of your relationship problem. And there's no real solution to that problem, because as everyone else has said, you can't help someone who doesn't know they need help. Learning to ignore/detach is the best option you have, but I'd work on the root issues ASAP.

I also don't have any easy answers for #1 and #2. But I wish you luck.
posted by mmoncur at 8:38 PM on August 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

To answer your immediate question, the only way you'll likely be able to calm him down (short of moving out) would be to accommodate him.
The keys-on-couch example *sounds* absurd, but it's equally absurd for you to fully expect this sort of reaction and continue to "absent-mindedly" provoke it.

Sometimes when confronted with silly quirks like this there's an innate passive-aggressive urge to provoke a reaction, even if you are fully consciously aware that the reaction will be unpleasant; in my experience there's a justification in the back of my mind that allowing something to "blow up" will afford me the opportunity to finally, effectively defend myself and subsequently unveil the inherent absurdity of the Universe -- "why the hell are we arguing about this anyway, this is insane"...but the other party doesn't seem to buy in.

I think most "absent-minded" people (myself included) can program themselves to be consistent about certain things if they take the consequences seriously. Then again, everyone's different and I can only speak for myself.

Telling you what to wear seems extreme, sure. Avoid going out with him, if you can...but do something else -- get out there and live as much of a life as you can within your current environment.

I occasionally find myself going to the dark, negative place where your father seems to live, finding fault in everything, but I have a keen awareness that my biggest frustration is with myself.

I have a pretty good sense of perspective about what really matters in life, but constantly have to remind myself regardless. At the very least I can bring myself back, while many people seem to inhabit a ridiculous corner of human nature where everybody else has "the problem."
a
I wish you could trigger some sort of epiphany in him, but if such a thing is ever to happen, it'll probably happen after you leave. If there is a way for you to trigger this, it'll be a hugely unpleasant, uphill battle, but he probably won't accept any sagelike words of wisdom from you until you've struck out on your own and proven that you're a responsible adult.

The sleep disorder must be diagnosed ASAP. If it has such control over your life, you must understand it thoroughly. Until then you might always feel some sense of guilt and doubt about the condition; on the surface it sounds questionable that it would make such an impact on you, and be your primary reason for subjecting yourself to such a negative environment, and yet you aren't really sure what's wrong with you in the first place (and seem to be operating a motor vehicle on some regular frequency).

I know little of the subject, but it could simply be that you're depressed and have programmed yourself to think that "this is it." Moving out is the solution; like others have said you must tackle every obstacle on that path and remove every doubt and excuse that keeps you from even beginning to head in that direction.
posted by aydeejones at 8:46 PM on August 24, 2008

OK, you're still in your grad program, right? Can you get health insurance through the university? Or can you ask your parents to add you on their insurance as a dependent? I'm just a bit worried about your sleep attacks - in prior questions you stated you had a pretty active social life, at least in the evenings. That probably involves driving around in your car, so possible narcolepsy + at the wheel = not good.

As for your Dad - he sounds nutty, yes. I do see b33j's point, though. If you know certain things set him off, the only solution (right now) is to alter your behavior. For example, have a basket where you dump your keys/purse every day when you come in. One problem solved. You also mentioned that you have OCD - he may have it, too. Little things that wouldn't bug other people (say, leaving the dishwasher door open) make him crazy. It's up to you to make the best of it, I'm afraid - until you can set things in motion to move out.
posted by Liosliath at 8:50 PM on August 24, 2008

Hon, your dad is mentally ill. That is not normal behavior.
He is exhibiting paranoia.

If he ever threatens violence, call the cops. I mean it.
posted by konolia at 9:05 PM on August 24, 2008

Regarding health insurance, I am currently saving up money to get an "independent" one, my grandfather MAY chip in. I graduate in December, so U insurance won't be worth it. I am too old for my parent's health insurance plan.

And regarding my sleeping problem and me driving a lot...I rarely get sleepy while driving for some reason. And I rarely have those sleeping attacks in the evening, they usually occur anytime from noon to 4pm. But, as I mentioned earlier, sleeping problems aside, there's still other issues going on that could prevent me from being/staying employed.
posted by sixcolors at 9:19 PM on August 24, 2008

I rarely get sleepy while driving for some reason. And I rarely have those sleeping attacks in the evening, they usually occur anytime from noon to 4pm.

Er... Just a random stab in the dark, but do you eat a big lunch? That's like the ideal time for post-big-food siesta. I used to get horribly sleepy right around 2-3pm everyday at work and cut my lunch in half, which fixed that.

Anyway, as for your dad, he sounds completely irrational. No amount of reasoning or talking can get through to those people, so avoidance may be your best bet--perhaps figure out a routine plan with your mother so you can avoid dealing with him?

And yes, definitely keep feelers out for abuse, because it sounds like it's going downhill. In fact, if you did move out, I'd worry about your mother.
posted by Ky at 9:27 PM on August 24, 2008

I would call your health center and ask if they can give you any advice on how you could get free or greatly reduced medical treatment for your (probable) narcolepsy. When my insurance ran out in college the doctor at my college health center gave me the names of several places I could go. Chances are they are aware of what medical services are available in your community. Also call up any medical schools, many have free or reduced rate clinics. IANAD and have no idea what the treatment for narcolepsy (or whatever you may have) is, but I'm guessing that if you are persistent and do your research you'll be able to find some free or cheap medical help for it somehow.

Even if you fail at finding free medical help. I would save up and go for one visit to a Dr. Preferably one you know by reputation is good and sympathetic (I know this may not be easy). Go and tell him straight that you have no money, no insurance and this will be the one and only appointment you'll have with him. You need him to diagnose and do as much as he can in this one appointment. This may not fly, but it's worth a shot and I'm guessing most Dr's would have mercy on you and do whatever they can for you to at least get you on your feet health wise.

You are going to need to be creative and persistent to solve this problem.

Good luck, I think once you get your health in order the rest of your life will start to fall into order.
posted by whoaali at 9:46 PM on August 24, 2008

No moving out until you get married??!

Your dad is nuts. Move out. it might be difficult, but really. Couch surfing and welfare are nowhere near as bad as what could happen. Take steps to get your narcolepsy looked at. Those are your options if you want to get out of your situation.

Way, way too many people (including those on AskMe) delay and delay on moving out and cutting the dad off until they have much bigger, scarier problems.
posted by dunkadunc at 11:33 PM on August 24, 2008

There's a possibility that the poster (given earlier questions) is overstating her position. From her father's point of view it might be:
I've asked my daughter again and again to keep the living areas tidy, but she just ignores me. I'm at my wits end. I've sat on her keys giving myself a nasty bruise but she says I'm complaining about nothing. Yes, I'm fussy about how I like the house, but it's my house and she takes no notice of me. She leaves dishes out, even when it would take just a second to wash and put them away and she can't even shut the dishwasher door. Just how hard is that? Is she doing it to get on my nerves, because it's working. Everytime I ask her to change her behaviour, she runs to her mother and exaggerates what happened and makes me look like the bad guy. She's interfering with my relationship with my wife. Yes, sometimes I get upset about our messy yard, but I'm just venting. Nobody ever picks up the rubbish but me. Finally, have you seen what she wears when she goes out? You can see her bra strap! In my day, good girls never showed their underwear. I'm embarrassed and she won't change into more respectable clothes. And her friends, I really don't trust them. They don't call me Mr Colors, barely talk to me at all, they might be on drugs, I've seen it on Dr Phil.

Yeah, sure, not a pretty picture of the guy, but certainly not insane. A lot of the pressure will be off if OP cleans up after herself, and helps around the house without asking (and that's not a new problem - generations have been arguing over since dot.) Dealing with it might also mean accepting her father grew up with different standards and ideals and that she's clashing with his principles (however mixedup they might be.) This is normal parent-child separation. And this is why, OP, I think you should move out. Not because your dad is mad or evil, but because it's time for you to set your own standards.
posted by b33j at 12:02 AM on August 25, 2008 [1 favorite]

You must make resolving your health issues your first priority. Don't wait until you graduate-- get on a high-deductible plan RIGHT NOW. I don't know where you live but sometimes they can be as little as 150 a month. That means you will still have to pay to go to the doctor but you will be protected from pre-existing condition issues, and if you do require hospitalization for any of your symptoms you will be somewhat protected. If you have to, sell some of your stuff, or beg, borrow money from your grandfather or mother (since it sounds like your dad might not want to help).

This should be your only priority. Not having fun with your friends, not going to school, not even resolving your issues with your dad. Once you are healthy you will be in a position to resolve all the other stuff.

I know it probably seems overwhelming but you're an adult. You can do it.

At the end of the day if you still live at home and are supported by your parents financially so they get to have a say over how you behave in their house and how you treat their posessions...and appreciating this is also part of being an adult.

As is doing whatever is in your power to make yourself financially independent to contribute to your upkeep at home and to move out eventually - their duty to support you is long over and by the sound of it your parents are going out of their way in supporting you as young adult to allow you to get a good education.

If you don't fall asleep in the evenings I would suggest you look for work that allows you to work in the evenings even if it is a part time job...and offer to pay them board but also to save up to sort out your health problems. I can see where your dad is coming from if your health prevents you from working but not from socialising...not saying your problems are not genuine but you can see how it might look to him.

I'm another person that doesn't see your father's behaviour as too extreme. You are slobby and inconsiderate and it is HIS house. Making him remind you more than once a week to not leave your things on his couch IS rude and disrespectful. You sound like you are causing him a lot of stress and he doesn't see you growing up (to him, marriage) and moving out anytime soon. You need to move out though because you are an adult and you are unhappy and adults can either take action or they can stop complaining.

He also thinks my health and psychological problems are a result of lack of willpower.

But they are a result of a lack of willpower. Who do you think is responsible for your health? Adults see something is not normal and they take steps to correct the problem, Even if it means multiple steps: get a short-term job to pay for the doctor, follow all suggestions, and monitor your own health continuously.

Fix your health. If you truly have a sleep disorder then you shouldn't be driving, period. Every narcoleptic I know had at least one car accident before they were diagnosed. You don't have the right to kill someone else. If you don't feel the sleepiness is enough to keep you off the roads (because you can make yourself stay awake) then there is no reason you can't apply the same willpower to a job. Have you kept a food/sleep/activity diary to see if you have any triggers for sleepiness? That will be something to bring to the doctor to aid in diagnosis. Have you videotaped yourself sleeping to see if you are restless or deep sleeper? Have you researched narcolepsy, sleep apnea etc? You family doesn't sound poor (house, car) so surely your parents will lend you the money to see a doctor if you arrange a reasonable repayment scheme.

Re: medication for hypersomnolence-
The pharmaceutical companies that make the most often prescribed medication for narcolepsy both have patient assistance programs to deliver medications for free or for very little money. If you don't have insurance or income, you would almost certainly qualify.

Additionally, if you find a hospital in your area that offers sleep testing (polysomnography + multiple sleep latency testing), you can contact someone in their billing department before getting any testing done to find if they'll reduce/discount/donate your testing for you. This is especially likely if they take federal funds as they are legally required to put X amount of money aside for low-income patient services.

Ok, all that said: if moving truly is not an option, then yes, follow all of his quirky rules, stay out of the house for as long as possible (without rocking the boat), and so on, but look into every option possible for getting out. Even though mom and dad and I get along like peas and carrots, it took me being out of the house for some time before both they and I were able to chill and see each other as people rather than annoyances.

The things that are holding you back are almost always going to be able to overcome if you're willing to put in the footwork.

rarely get sleepy while driving for some reason. And I rarely have those sleeping attacks in the evening, they usually occur anytime from noon to 4pm. But, as I mentioned earlier, sleeping problems aside, there's still other issues going on that could prevent me from being/staying employed.

So get a job where you work in the evening, or where you work in the morning. Your other issues ¨could¨ prevent you from doing this, but perhaps they won´t.

Stop leaving your keys and purse in the living room. Obviously, this is a big deal to your father. You don´t have to figure out what the big deal is to stop doing it. He´s paying for your living expenses, right? This is one of the things he wants you to do in return. You don´t do it. That´s why he feels like you don´t respect him.

Don´t like all that? Well, that´s what happens when you are an adult but still live with your parents, you don´t get to be an adult in all ways. If you can´t move out right now, you will have to accept that your ¨free¨ place to live has strings attached.

13 WAYS TO MAKE YOU HAPPY

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 We will look at how we can 
liberate ourselves from those thoughts and mental habits that hold us back and hold us down, we will look forward to a better, happier and more positive new us. Follow this advice and not only will you feel better but those around you will too, after all, only a lit candle can light other candles.
 1. Let go of your complaining
Throughout the day we could potentially find countless things to complain about, the weather, the traffic, the service we got at a restaurant but how does this constant whinging make things any better for us? Does it make things better for us? Does is make us happier? Or does it just put a downer on our mood and make us feel unhappy, low and depressed? Our mood is in our hands, we can choose to react to any situation however we want, we can allow ourselves to sucked into a negative state of mind or we can rise above that and be happy despite the traffic!
“Tell the negativity committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up.”
2. Let go of having to always be right.
Many of us struggle with the even the thought of being wrong and will go as far as falling out with dear friends or loved ones solely for the sake of being right. Letting go of this habit will lead to better relationships for all. A sense of serenity in knowing that even though you may have been right, you’ve saved yourself and those around you a great deal of stress, worry and tension in not having to be right or have the last word. Wayne Dyer wrote “Would I rather be right or would I rather be kind?” Think about that next time you find yourself fighting this habit!
3. Let go of any self defeating ideas
Most of the hurdles we face in life are actually ones that we have concocted up in our minds, they are imaginary, unreal and they are what prevent us from moving forward, not our actual circumstances. These imaginary hurdles warp our ideas about what we can and cannot do, what is and what is not possible. We need to learn to see through these hurdles. Then we will be ready to spread our wings and fly!
An entire sea of water can’t sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. Similarly, the negativity of the world can’t put you down unless you allow it to get inside you
4. Let go of your fears
What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail? Our fears are unfortunately hindrances that we create for ourselves. Imagine all those hindrances had vanished, how would you feel? Close your eyes and imagine that for just a moment. Feel good? Now try living that way.
Being kind to yourself in thoughts, words and actions is as important as being kind to others.
5. Let go of attachment
Attachments create an atmosphere of fear. You are not reliant on things and allowing yourself to think you are will prevent you from being happy.
6. Let go of making criticism
Refrain from criticising anything and everything that you don’t understand. We are all different and that’s what makes life beautiful; what a boring place this would be if we were all the same. Allow people and things to be different, don’t see difference as an excuse to criticise. We all want to be happy, let’s allow ourselves to be happy and lets allow others to be happy.
7. Let go of blaming
Stop trying to find reasons for why things are what they are, in looking to explain things away we often try and find fault in something or someone, this negativity harms those around us, but more than anyone else, it harms us!
8. Let go of trying to impress other people
There are so many more important things in life than worrying what someone thinks of our shoes, what you do for a living or the car you drive. These things are not that are going to nurture healthy relationships. What people want from you is to be real, to be yourself, when you drop all pretences you’ll realise that people appreciate you for who you are and you’ll find your relationships are now stronger and deeper.
9. Let go of your excuses
Sometimes we get into the habit of making excuses for the sake of making excuses. We have all the time, resources and energy that we will ever have. We need to take advantage of our youth, good health, wealth, free time and most of all, our lives while we have them!
10. Let go of trying to always control
Situations, events, people; as much as we may try, much of what happens around us cannot be controlled by us and so we must spare ourselves the hassle of trying to think that it can. Let everyone and everything around you just be and you will feel much more relaxed and happier.
11. Let go of the past
Keep things in perspective, never dwelling on the past or being anxious about the future, rather enjoying these precious everyday moments. Today is all you have. Tomorrow has not been promised to you and yesterday has passed you by. So be present in all that you do. Remember, these are the good old days, happiness is not something you can postpone for the future.
12. Let go of resisting change
Every life process entails change. As human beings we often enjoy familiarity and once we become comfortable we become resistant to change. But very little lasts forever and so we have to alway be ready for change, that doesn’t mean we fear it, rather we embrace it whenever it comes knocking at our door, we welcome it in and see it as opportunity, opportunity for something new and better.

13. Let go of living life to other people’s expectations
Too much of our lives is spent trying to fit into social archetypes. We allow the expectations of others determine the job we do, the car we drive, the clothes we wear and much more! How much happier would we be if instead we followed our hearts and did things the way we wanted to do them. We allow our loved ones to dictate to us, our parents, siblings, partners and often we allow influences such as the media or government to dictate to us how we live our lives. We are all talented individuals, we all have something to offer, something unique. Each one of us is gifted. We need to nurture our talents and gifts and contribute through doing what we do best, doing what we love, rather than doing what we think is expected of us. 

QUICK FACTS

Fasting is a school for the training of both the physical body and the soul, and it has numerous merits and benefits.

However, just as with any other act of worship, Muslims observe the fast not for the benefits, but rather because they wish to totally submit to the will of God.

Believers are aware that worldly benefits are not the goal of any kind of worship. Muslims draw closer to God by abandoning the things they enjoy, and this makes the sincerity of their devotion to God all the more evident.

They know that God will be pleased with them if they abandon worldly comforts for His sake. The reason for their worship is the Divine command and its result is God’s good pleasure.

Fasting is one of the five pillars of Islam. Concerning the fast of Ramadan, the Quran declares:

{The month of Ramadan, is the month in which the Quran (began to be) sent down as a pure source of guidance for people…} (Al-Baqara 2: 185)

How Does Hunger Accomplish What Abundance Cannot?

         Significance and Merits of Fasting

- What Are the Inner Dimensions of Fasting?

- Lessons and Moralities of Fasting

- Fasting: Any Health Benefits?

- What Kind of Fasting Is Pleasing to Allah?

- How to Optimally Benefit From Ramadan

Human beings have both carnal and spiritual sides. The physical body of a human is comparatively small, but the soul is infinite, allowing them to embrace the whole universe. Human beings are not only material objects, a creature consisting of a stomach, nor do they only have a limited, cumbersome, simple, or transient corporal body.

Human nature is so universal that in themselves human beings contain some aspect of all that exists in the universe. The countless tendencies, desires, feelings, dreams, thoughts, and ideas of humanity are like an index of the universe. God Almighty has ornamented the Earth with countless blessings and has given it to humanity, the vicegerent of God on Earth.

Each day they receive lavishly prepared dining tables, one after another. Their sustenance is sent to them from the Heavens via the trees, each of which gives a different fruit in a different season of the year and the Earth nourishes them with every kind of delicious provisions.  He has granted you all that you would ask Him. Should you attempt to count God’s blessings, you cannot calculate them.

But humankind is innately inclined to extreme misjudgment and ingratitude. (14: 34) Both the Earth and the skies were created to serve humanity, and the main reason why human beings exist is to worship God, making worship a fundamental aim in itself. (51: 56).

Repentance after committing sins and the redemption of sins through fasting strengthen the free will of humanity

God, the most Gracious, gave us countless favors but unfortunately, for the most part we are unaware of and thus not thankful for these bounties. We are like a fish that is in the sea but unaware of the water as a blessing. One of the signs of a person being mature is the subjugation of the bestial characteristics of the brain and the soul. Human nature is difficult to deal with; it is sometimes excessive and sometimes regressive. Severe measures are sometimes needed to suppress the excesses.

In this sense, it is very difficult to satisfy the carnal soul; the more you give the more it demands. The carnal soul continuously commands human beings to commit sins. According to a Quranic decree, the Prophet Joseph describes the carnal soul in the most eloquent way saying:

{I free not my own self of blame, for the human soul is certainly prone to evil, except to whom my Lord has granted His Mercy. Surely my Lord is All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.} (Yusuf 12: 53)

Repentance after committing sins and the redemption of sins through fasting strengthen the free will of humanity and purify the soul.  God Almighty has provided humanity with the willpower to ascend from the lowest rank to a most exalted one, or vice versa. Therefore, sometimes humans can surpass the angels and become closer to God, while at other times some people are worse than any devil. (95: 4-6)

Since the excess of animality hinders the emergence of angelic aspects, it is necessary that human beings should try to dominate their animalistic side. When the dominance of the soul over the body weakens or when the body becomes dominant, human beings become slaves to their carnal desires. They pay no heed to the intellect or to religious admonitions and spend all their energy trying to quench their thirst and hunger for worldly delights. Their only concern is to find new ways of satisfying their carnal desires.

They have to invent substances that increase the appetite, that aid digestion, or even act as stimulants. “Such people are like a donkey or an ox, even if they are at the peak of science, culture, and civilization. They will commute between the dining room and the toilet all their life and will have no time for any principles or for the eternal life. All their faculties will die, except for those pertaining to lust, food, drink, and foolish entertainment.”

No depiction can be more precise and more elegant than that of the Quran:  {… as for those who disbelieve, they shall enjoy this world and eat as cattle eat; and the Fire shall be their abode.} (Muhammad 47: 12)

Fasting is the reins and bit that restrain the carnal self. It hinders human beings from becoming arrogant like pharaohs.

Fasting Helps Us to Become Aware of God’s Blessings

exploring the wisdom behind the act of fasting strengthens the faith of Muslims

As for spiritual merits and therapeutic benefits that may be gained from performing the fast, these cannot be considered to be the sole results, irrespective of how satisfactory the fruits are. Since believers fast to seek the pleasure of God and to gain salvation in the Hereafter, it is clear that the fruits and benefits of the fast are in the Hereafter.

Nevertheless, exploring the wisdom behind the act of fasting strengthens the faith of Muslims who are aware that whatever God commands is always good and whatever He prohibits is always bad and harmful. This helps them proceed in the awareness that God, Who is so compassionate and generous, rewards good deeds both in this world and the Hereafter.

Fasting is a school for the training of the spirit, the purification of the heart, and protection from committing sins. No matter whether one fasts only for a day or a month, the person fasting cuts himself off from worldly comforts, including food, drink, and sexual relations, that are otherwise lawful in the ordinary course of life, at the behest of God, who shall give a reward for it.

Although everything done for the sake of God has a reward, none of the good deeds or acts of worship can be compared to fasting when it comes to God’s pleasure and reward. As reported by Abu Hurayrah, Prophet Muhammad stated that God said in the sacred hadith:

“Every act of the humanity is for themselves, except fasting. It is for Me, and I shall reward it. That is because they abstain from food, drink and carnal desires for My sake.”(Muslim)

Fasting forms a private connection between the Creator and the creation, and it has deep inner aspects along with its more obvious benefits and merits. Thus, fasting has a special quality that is not found in anything else and that is its close connection to God; this is so much so that He says: “Fasting is for Me, and I shall reward it.” God has chosen fasting for Himself, and He will reward it and multiply the reward without measure.  Sincerity is very important when one observes an act of worship.

Sincerity means doing something only for God’s sake. Fasting reflects this characteristic well, for it cannot be known whether a person is actually fasting or not. Only God and the person fasting can know this. Moreover, there is no need to make the fact that one is fasting known to other people.  Therefore, believers must observe fasting in complete cordiality and refrain from actions that may harm their sincerity. They should not depress or annoy others, or expect anything from them while observing the fast, as this is only for God.

People of deep perception think that, “fasting is for me,” means “I am Samad,” (the one to whom all created beings turn to for all their needs, and who is not dependent on anything or anyone for any need). God is not in need of anything, and He does not need our fasting, either. It is an act of worship observed for God alone; fasting causes a positive change in the nature of the person fasting and brings about perfect moral values that God will reward in a way beyond the imagination of human beings.

Fasting is a worship that is not evident to other people and therefore there is no ostentation. Therefore, in the second part, God says: “and I will reward it.”

The Teachings of Jesus Concerning Fasting

Whenever you fast, do not be like the hypocrites, with sad faces. For they disfigure their faces, that they may be seen by men to be fasting. Most certainly I tell you, they have received their reward. But you, when you fast, anoint your head, and wash your face; so that you are not seen by men to be fasting, but by your Lord who is in secret, and your Lord, who sees in secret, will reward you. (Mathew 6: 16-18)

The Bible alone has 74 references to fasting. The Bible mentions that the Prophets Jesus, John (the Baptist), Moses, Daniel, Elijah, and David (peace be upon them all) fasted. Prophet David fasted every other day. This fast of David is one of the most virtuous of the recommended fasts in Islam as well. Prolonged fasting was practiced by the Biblical saints, Ahab, Anna, Esther, Hannah, Ezra, and the apostles.

The Bible also mentions that Jesus fasted for forty days in the desert before starting his ministry.

Fasting is not only mentioned in the Bible, both the Old and New Testament, but also in the Mahabharata of Hinduism, and in the Upanishads of India, as well as being observed among the Jains. The original significance of fasting as a form of spiritual devotion was the same among the nations and communities of such ancient civilizations as the Celts, Aztecs, Babylonians, ancient Peruvians, the Assyrians, the ancient Greeks, and the Egyptians. Namely, fasting as an institution for spiritual reasons is common to all religions and faiths.

The life accounts of all the Prophets in revealed scriptures and in popular knowledge show that they were actually leading a holy way of life for a certain period of time, even before they started receiving Divine Guidance. During this period, they abstained from food, drink, and other human needs, and they enabled their souls to have communion with God and finally were rewarded with His revelation. Prophet Moses, Prophet Jesus, and Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon them all), who are guides for the purification and perfection of the soul, observed fasting during the preparation phase of their difficult missions.

Prophet Moses spoke with God and received the Law after fasting for forty days: “And he was there with the Lord forty days and forty nights; he did neither eat bread, nor drink water. And he wrote upon the tables the words of the covenant, the Ten Commandments.” (Exodus 34: 28)

The Bible also mentions that Jesus fasted for forty days in the desert before starting his ministry. Similarly, Prophet Muhammad was called to the prophethood at the age of forty while fasting and worshipping during the month of Ramadan in the Hira cave on top of a mountain in solitude. This is another proof of the fact that fasting is an influential factor in the maturation and purification of human beings.  The Quran is the greatest evidence concerning the order of fasting prescribed for modern and ancient people alike. (Al-Baqarah  2: 183)

ENRICH YOUR SELF

Every human being comes into this world by decree of Allah, and with him or her, carries a life journey that has been pre-ordained, written and endorsed by Allah Himself - a unique path, a journey throughout a temporary abode – one that is full of obstacles, challenges, punishments and plenty of rewards.
For Muslims la-ilaha-ill-Allah (the phrase that denotes that there is no deity, save for Allah), is more than just a saying of conviction, rather it embodies the entirety of being Muslim.
{And put your trust in Allah, if you are believers indeed.} (5:23)
When a Muslim says this first part of the shahadah, (the testimonial of faith for Muslims), he or she is submitting in totality to the will of Allah, for the simple reason, there is no deity worthy of worship, save for Allah.
This may sound simple for some: just eliminate, for example, statues of worship, or do not submit to any other religious structure. Unfortunately, the human being is easily tempted and one can sometimes perceive other forms of worship, such as a career-path, money, power, a relationship even, or the coveting of a worldly prize. When this happens, this person’s focus of worship changes into one that is geared towards worldly pleasures and instead of seeking Allah’s pleasures in life; he or she may become overly focused on his or her object of obsession.
{But sufficient is your Lord as a Guide and Helper.} (25: 31)
For a person who forgets the belief in one single God, it is easier for him or her to fall into sadness, and even clinical depression when the going gets tough. But believers are reminded that {Nothing shall ever happen to us except what Allah has ordained for us,} (9:51) and are often reminded that there will always be challenges in life that will force them to think and reflect and each challenge has actually been uniquely tailored to fit each person’s situation, surroundings, personality and physical /spiritual or mental strength.
In Islam, there is a way to feel less sorrow or grief, by invoking Allah to provide strength and patience
Whether it is the short-change of a promotion, another failed IVF cycle, a difficult final year exam paper, a falling out with a friend, a horrible illness, an attack on a Masjid or the loss of a loved one, those who practice tawakkul – the complete trust in Allah – will be able to handle the situation in a more positive light, as compared to someone who did not have that trust.
There are many ways to achieve tawakkul. And even if one is certain of his or her trust in Allah, a booster shot would never hurt the heart or soul.
Spend Time to Reflect, Shed Tears if Need Be
No human being can escape sadness. But in Islam, there is a way to feel less sorrow or grief, by invoking Allah to provide strength and patience. Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) described his tears over the death of his son, Ibrahim, as part of his humanness. {Verily with hardship, there is relief,} (96:6) the Qur’an reminds.
Tears that come from the eyes and the heart are from Allah, as with that come sincerity. Shedding tears allows negative emotions to be released rather than transforming into self-consuming anger or bitterness that could eventually destroy one’s tawakkul. However, crying alone is not enough if it is not accompanied with reflective wisdom. Although Allah catches every tear of a true believer, an overdose of sadness can lead to depression, which is also dangerously self-consuming.
{Remember Me, by praying, glorifying, and I will remember you,} (2:152).
Within the realm of sadness, Muslims need to remember that there are ways of remembering Allah – may it be through du’a (invocations), prayers such as istikarah (the prayer for guidance), and even zikr (constant remembrance of Allah). Allah promises: for those who are resolute, He will send down calmness and tranquillity upon them.
Remember that what Allah takes away from a person, there is a plan behind it
Although some prayers are best done during certain times of the day or night, invocations and zikr have no time limits, and one can continue strengthening his or her relationship with God while carrying out the normal errands or chores. It is said that Allah thinks about those who think about Him the most, so by constantly remembering Allah in times of difficulty, a Muslim solidifies the belief that with every adversity comes a reward.
Remember that what Allah takes away from a person, there is a plan behind it – most of the time, Allah rewards a Muslim, especially a patient one, with something better – because Allah knows best.
Get a Grip of the Situation and Plan for the Next Step of Action
Although tawakkul denotes complete trust in Allah, every Muslim needs to plan for the next course of action when a challenge presents itself. Sitting back in anger or frustration is akin to giving up in many situations.
Allah loves those who help themselves, who better themselves and who are constantly striving to achieve their goals or overcome problems for His sake. Getting a grip of the situation allows a person to understand why he or she is facing a certain obstacle. Prophet Muhammad once said, (He who Allah wishes for good, He will firstly inflict him with hardship.) Thus a believing Muslim picks up from calamities and constructively embraces the situation in stride.
One could ask constructively: Why did this happen to me? If I have made any mistakes that may have angered Allah, how shall I repent? What could have I done to avoid this situation? What should I do now that would please Allah? What valuable lessons can I learn from this problem? How shall I make myself a better Muslim for the sake of Allah?
Repentance is an important practice by those who practice tawakkul. Repentance allows a Muslim to recognise his or her wrongdoings, weaknesses and the sheer magnitude of grace that Allah has bestowed upon him or her. Repenting cleans the heart and allows a believer to move on.
{Noah said to them: ‘Ask forgiveness from your Lord. He is Oft-Forgiving. He will send you rain in abundance, and give you increase in wealth and children; and bestow on you gardens; bestow on you rivers,} (71:10-12).
Instead of asking Allah for a certain plan to work, a believing Muslim - full of tawakkul - should ask for Allah to grant him or her an outcome that is best for him or he
Some people find that writing their thoughts down puts the problem into perspective. They allow themselves to address their fears, their concerns and can even find solutions to their problems. Others may benefit from talking to supportive family or friends in order to overcome negative emotions and to plan for the future. In all cases, Muslims need to remember that while they plan, only Allah can determine the outcome, and that outcome is the best for the person at that given moment.
{So when you have made your decision, then put your trust in Allah,} (3:159).
Instead of asking Allah for a certain plan to work, a believing Muslim - full of tawakkul - should ask for Allah to grant him or her an outcome that is best for him or her. And even if it may seem that the reward is meagre, Allah has promised Paradise to those who are patient – and there really is nothing that can contend with the returns in Paradise.
Live for the Moment Because Each Moment Will Pass
{So hold that which I have given you and be of the grateful,} (7:144). Trusting in Allah also involves taking care of one’s self. A Muslim should surround him or herself with positive company, preferably those who have a strong personal relationship with Allah.
A Muslim in search of a higher level of tawakkul should also indulge in activities that he or she enjoys the most, as long as they do not contradict the teachings of Islam. This promotes happiness and positive energy in a person, providing a healthy distraction from the problem. It also encourages one to constantly remember and appreciate the blessings of Allah, and feel thankful at all times – even if it is a glass of water, because Allah was the One who provided the same glass of water - rather than nit-pick at the imminent problems in life.
This goes back to the one of the fundamentals of the dunya (world): it is a place of passing, a journey that has a limited number of moments for each unique person. Why waste time feeling sad and depressed, when one can feel blessed, happy and positive for the sake of Allah? The problem or obstacle will eventually pass, and time and patience will help a person heal – but with the right attitude and ultimately the feeling of tawakkul in tow – even the heaviest burden becomes lightweight and even challenging in a positive light. {Indeed Allah has set a measure for all things,} (66:3).
There are many ways to live for the moment, fully believing that Allah will help a person who helps him or herself.
One could spend time giving charity and appreciate those who are less fortunate. A believing Muslim could speak to an ustadz or an ustadzah and learn how to strengthen his or her iman (faith). One could seek advice from those who have faced similar situations and learn from their mistakes. A good Muslim should smile aplenty to ward off sadness and doubt. And a believer could spend some time alone reflecting on how to become closer to Allah.
Complete Surrender to Allah
{Whoever is in the heavens and on earth begs of Him. Every day He has a matter to bring forth (such as giving honour to some, disgrace to some, life to some, death to some,} (55:29).
Every human being comes to earth by the decree of Allah with a pre-ordained plan that balances the nature of the temporary abode with good and evil, blessings and hardships, rewards and punishments and death and life.
Because this pre-ordainment is so important, tawakkul has been described as the head of human body, with the human body representing the entire religion. Without tawakkul, one does not embody the religion of Islam.
Without tawakkul, a person draws closer to committing shirk, often searching for answers elsewhere, imploring for the help of others, questioning his or her fate in anger, or subsiding into self-destructive behaviour and emotions. With tawakkul comes humility, sadness with reflection, planning with wisdom and happiness for the sake of Allah.
Those with tawakkul are often reminded of the world being a temporary abode, one that is paved path that will ultimately lead to the Hereafter. Thus how they reflect, react and respond to hardships presented by Allah will affect their goal of achieving Allah’s pleasure, and ultimately, Paradise. {“And they think deeply about the creation of the heavens and the earth, (saying): ‘O Lord! You have not created (all) this without purpose, glory to You!’} (3:191).
Without tawakkul, the kalimah of la-ilaha-ill-Allah will cease to carry meaning, and that is part of the shahadah that encompasses the fundamental belief of a Muslim.

Tawakkul is a fundamental part of the Islamic Aqeedah. Tawakkul is translated here as either trust or dependence. Putting our trust in Allah (swt) is a matter of belief and contributes to our view regarding this life. To make this point clear, some of the Ayahs are quoted as below. Allah (swt) says:
“If Allah helps you, none can overcome you: If He forsakes you, who is there after that, that can help you? In Allah then, let the Believers put their trust.” [EMQ 3: 160]
And Allah (swt) says:
“Say: Nothing will happen to us except what Allah has decreed for us: He is our Protector: And on Allah let the believers put their trust.” [EMQ 9:51]
And Allah (swt) says:
“And put they trust on the exalted in Might, the Merciful.”  [EMQ 26:217]
Allah (swt) also says:
“…Then when thou hast taken a decision put they trust in Allah. For Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)”  [EMQ 3:159]
All of the above Ayahs order Muslims to wholly and exclusively to rely on Allah (swt) in their lives. It is only Allah who controls the Universe and both good and bad are His decree. The significant element that should always be kept in mind is the omnipotence of Allah (swt). Therefore our actions and the material resources available to us do not guarantee the outcome of any of our undertakings. For example our material and physical strength may deceive us into believing that victory in a battlefield is inevitable. The truth is that our strength or weakness has no bearing on the outcome of the battle, and it is only by the will of Allah that we become victorious or get defeated by the enemy. It was this firm belief that lead a handful of Muslims during and after the time of the Prophet (saw) to fight so valiantly against a formidable enemy over and over again.
One may ask, why then do we strive to accomplish any task if we cannot influence its outcome? The answer is rather simple. The actions that we take fall into three categories: They are either obligated upon us by Allah (swt), recommended by Him or we are simply allowed to do them. The obligatory actions are taken because Allah (swt) has ordered them as compulsory. The recommended actions are taken to be rewarded in addition to the rewards we get upon accomplishing the fard. In both of these cases we seek to please Allah (swt), Actions falling under the third category are taken to achieve certain objectives we anticipate to fulfil. However, the certainty of accomplishing those objectives is not under our control. Therefore the cause of initiating any action is not whether we control its outcome. It is the anticipated goal we aim to achieve.
This brings us to an important misconception amongst the Muslims where some of the associate effort with having trust in Allah (swt). For example, it is a popular notion that earning provides rizq and Tawakkul in Allah (swt) should come after one has made a sincere effort to earn a living. Some of the Muslims who hold such a view often present the following Hadith in their defence:
A man came to the Prophet (saw) and said, “I will not tie my camel and trust in Allah” The Prophet (saw) said, ‘Tie it and trust in Allah.’
This Hadith does not indicate any prerequisite for trusting Allah (swt). It does not, therefore suggest that somehow there is a link between people tying the camel (an action) and putting ones trust in Allah (swt). However, the Hadith conveys an important lesson to all of us: That while trust in Allah (swt) is absolute being independent of what we do it is our responsibility to act on what we intended to accomplish. In this case tying the camel was a right thing to do if the person feared that the camel would run away. Therefore he should have taken the precaution regardless of his trust in Allah (swt). Tying the camel does not take away from his trust in Allah (swt), irrespective of our efforts and the circumstances surrounding us.
This belief should help us to this life according to the commands of Allah (swt) even if we face hardships in doing so. Disappointment, hopelessness should not daunt us because we have put our trust in Allah (swt), our Creator and the only Sustainer. Many Muslims indulge in the prohibited actions arguing that it is the only alternative; otherwise they would face disastrous consequences. Avid example is giving riba when buying a house on a mortgage. They regard owning a house as a necessity and we are willing to sacrifice Islam in doing so.
They fail to realise that it is only Allah (swt) who provides security for them and their off springs and they need only to put their absolute trust in Him.
Unfortunately the materialistic thought that we have acquired from the Kuffar who depend on material gains for their very survival, has drastically influenced our view towards this life as well… we take pride in our wealth and what we do, and have displaced the trust in Allah (swt) by relying solely on material possessions. May Allah (swt) restore only trust in Him for only then can we truly succeed!

Tuesday, 23 July 2013

A DYING FATHER dance with DAUGTHER

Dying-father-has-last-first-dance-with-daughter

On a sunny Saturday in July, Rachel Wolf was preparing for the day she always dreamed of, complete with wedding gown, makeup, and guests.
But there was one thing missing: a groom.
Instead, the day was about her dad. Rachel’s father, Dr. James Wolf, is dying of pancreatic cancer. He likely has less than three months to live.
So to make sure that he would be there on her wedding day, Rachel, 25, came up with an unusual idea: she would create and record her own father/daughter dance. The venue, Auburn Recreation Park in Auburn, Calif., the limo and the D.J. were all donated.
“I just was flabbergasted,” Dr. Wolf told TODAY in an interview that aired Monday.
“There are a lot of things that I would’ve liked the girls to experience with me being there,” Dr. Wolf said while choking back tears. “And I’m not going to be there.”
Just hours before the big moment, he was in the hospital. Later, he was so exhausted that he could barely get dressed without help from his wife, Jeanine.
“I don’t know what to expect,” she said. “I’m hoping that he’s feeling well enough to be able to get that dance in.”
He was.
A limo pulled up around 7 p.m., and Rachel stepped out in a white dress that sparkled in the evening sun.
Dr. Wolf locked eyes with his little girl. “Hi honey!” he yelled. “You look gorgeous!”
“Thanks Daddy!” she cried.
Their embrace swallowed any sadness, conquered all worries. This bond was not yet ready to be broken.
Especially not before one last dance.
The song they chose was “Cinderella” by Steven Curtis Chapman. The crowd, which included Jeanine, Rachel’s sister Lauren, and a group of Dr. Wolf’s patients, looked on as father and daughter glided across the gazebo.
Though a man in the thralls of chemo probably shouldn’t exert himself, the dancing continued after the song ended: he danced with Lauren, and then with his wife. And just when you thought they were finished, the whole family joined in.
It was a celebration – perhaps not like Rachel ever imagined her wedding day was going to go, but an evening she will never forget.
“Each and every day, we have a choice,” Dr. Wolf said. “We have a choice to either love that person that’s in front of us or not. It’s the relationships that you build over the years that is the most important thing in life.”
“Everything else is just an illusion.”

Beards Keep You Young

Gentlemen, they’re not just for hipsters and the homeless any more. While both dead sexy and totally awesome, beards are also a boon to your overall health. Researchers discovered that men with beards and moustaches actually enjoy numerous benefits including, but not limited to, instant handsomeness.

A study from the University of Southern Queensland, published in the Radiation Protection Dosimetry journal, found that beards block 90 to 95 percent of UV rays, thereby slowing the aging process and reducing the risk of skin cancer. Got asthma? Pollens and dust simply get stuck in that lustrous facial hair. Additionally, all that hair retains moisture and protects against the wind, keeping you looking young and fresh-faced. What’s more, shaving is usually the cause of ingrown hairs and bacterial infections that lead to acne.
Have you tossed your razor in the trash yet?
To conduct the study, researchers left bearded mannequins, along with less attractive, follically-challenged ones, in the blistering sun of the Australian outback and then compared the amount of radiation absorbed by each.
But don’t forget to take care of those blessed follicles; beards can also spread infection if not properly cared for and make consumption of certain foods (e.g. cheeseburgers, corn on the cob, falafel sandwiches—anything with hummus actually, bagel ‘n’ schmear, syrupy pancakes) rather laborious. Fuzzy-faced men would be wise to take advantage of beard wash and beard oil, essential tools for looking and feeling your beardy best

 The word "moustache" is French, and is derived from the Italian moustacio (14th century), dialectal mostaccio (16th century), from Medieval Latin moustaccium (8th century), Medieval Greek μοστάκιον (moustakion), attested in the 9th century, which ultimately originates as a diminutive of Hellenistic Greek μύσταξ (mustax, mustak-), meaning "upper lip" or "facial hair",[2] probably derived from Hellenistic Greek μύλλον (mullon), "lip

Friday, 12 July 2013

International
Health
Insurance

1) a contract between an insurance provider (e.g. an insurance company or a government) and an individual or his/her sponsor (e.g. an employer or a community organization). The contract can be renewable (e.g. annually, monthly) or lifelong in the case of private insurance, or be mandatory for all citizens in the case of national plans. The type and amount of health care costs that will be covered by the health insurance provider are specified in writing, in a member contract or "Evidence of Coverage" booklet for private insurance, or in a national health policy for public insurance.
2) Insurance coverage is provided by an employer-sponsored self-funded ERISA plan. The company generally advertises that they have one of the big insurance companies. However, in an ERISA case, that insurance company "doesn't engage in the act of insurance", they just administer it. Therefore ERISA plans are not subject to state laws. ERISA plans are governed by federal law under the jurisdiction of the US Department of Labor (USDOL). The specific benefits or coverage details are found in the Summary Plan Description (SPD). An appeal must go through the insurance company, then to the Employer's Plan Fiduciary. If still required, the Fiduciary’s decision can be brought to the USDOL to review for ERISA compliance, and then file a lawsuit in federal court.
The individual insured person's obligations may take several forms:^[2]

• Premium: The amount the policy-holder or his sponsor (e.g. an employer) pays to the health plan to purchase health coverage.
• Deductible: The amount that the insured must pay out-of-pocket before the health insurer pays its share. For example, policy-holders might have to pay a $500 deductible per year, before any of their health care is covered by the health insurer. It may take several doctor's visits or prescription refills before the insured person reaches the deductible and the insurance company starts to pay for care. Furthermore, most policies do not apply co-pays for doctor's visits or prescriptions against your deductible.
• Co-payment: The amount that the insured person must pay out of pocket before the health insurer pays for a particular visit or service. For example, an insured person might pay a $45 co-payment for a doctor's visit, or to obtain a prescription. A co-payment must be paid each time a particular service is obtained.
• Coinsurance: Instead of, or in addition to, paying a fixed amount up front (a co-payment), the co-insurance is a percentage of the total cost that insured person may also pay. For example, the member might have to pay 20% of the cost of a surgery over and above a co-payment, while the insurance company pays the other 80%. If there is an upper limit on coinsurance, the policy-holder could end up owing very little, or a great deal, depending on the actual costs of the services they obtain.
• Exclusions: Not all services are covered. The insured are generally expected to pay the full cost of non-covered services out of their own pockets.
• Coverage limits: Some health insurance policies only pay for health care up to a certain dollar amount. The insured person may be expected to pay any charges in excess of the health plan's maximum payment for a specific service. In addition, some insurance company schemes have annual or lifetime coverage maxima. In these cases, the health plan will stop payment when they reach the benefit maximum, and the policy-holder must pay all remaining costs.
• Out-of-pocket maxima: Similar to coverage limits, except that in this case, the insured person's payment obligation ends when they reach the out-of-pocket maximum, and health insurance pays all further covered costs. Out-of-pocket maxima can be limited to a specific benefit category (such as prescription drugs) or can apply to all coverage provided during a specific benefit year.
• Capitation: An amount paid by an insurer to a health care provider, for which the provider agrees to treat all members of the insurer.
• In-Network Provider: (U.S. term) A health care provider on a list of providers preselected by the insurer. The insurer will offer discounted coinsurance or co-payments, or additional benefits, to a plan member to see an in-network provider. Generally, providers in network are providers who have a contract with the insurer to accept rates further discounted from the "usual and customary" charges the insurer pays to out-of-network providers.
• Prior Authorization: A certification or authorization that an insurer provides prior to medical service occurring. Obtaining an authorization means that the insurer is obligated to pay for the service, assuming it matches what was authorized. Many smaller, routine services do not require authorization.^[3]
• Explanation of Benefits: A document that may be sent by an insurer to a patient explaining what was covered for a medical service, and how payment amount and patient responsibility amount were determined.
• Prescription drug plans are a form of insurance offered through some health insurance plans. In the U.S., the patient usually pays a copayment and the prescription drug insurance part or all of the balance for drugs covered in the formulary of the plan. Such plans are routinely part of national health insurance programs. For example in the province of Quebec, Canada, prescription drug insurance is universally required as part of the public health insurance plan, but may be purchased and administered either through private or group plans, or through the public plan.

Some, if not most, health care providers in the United States will agree to bill the insurance company if patients are willing to sign an agreement that they will be responsible for the amount that the insurance company doesn't pay. The insurance company pays out of network providers according to "reasonable and customary" charges, which may be less than the provider's usual fee. The provider may also have a separate contract with the insurer to accept what amounts to a discounted rate or capitation to the provider's standard charges. It generally costs the patient less to use an in-network provider.
Health care system (: Health care in australia)
The Commonwealth Fund, in its annual survey, "Mirror, Mirror on the Wall", compares the performance of the health care systems in Australia, New Zealand, the United Kingdom, Germany, Canada and the U.S. Its 2007 study found that, although the U.S. system is the most expensive, it consistently under-performs compared to the other countries.^[6] One difference between the U.S. and the other countries in the study is that the U.S. is the only country without universal health insurance coverage.
The Commonwealth Fund completed its thirteenth annual health policy survey in 2010.^[7] A study of the survey "found significant differences in access, cost burdens, and problems with health insurance that are associated with insurance design".^[7] Of the countries surveyed, the results indicated that people in the United States had more out-of-pocket expenses, more disputes with insurance companies than other countries, and more insurance payments denied; paperwork was also higher although Germany had similarly high levels of

 

medical

Sunday, 30 June 2013

SCHOOL & WORK IN ABROD

I am in school to help myself and learn 

for when I grow up. I don’t want to see 

myself selling cabbage or borrowing 

money or other things. I don’t want to see 

my brothers suffering, especially Ronnie 

because he is the last born and a loving 

brother of my heart. I want him to live 

a happy life and I want him to know that 

he has a person who can take care of him.

I’m also learning to fill my promise that 

I promised myself that whatever happens 

I’ll work as hard as I can to help my 

family. I am also in school for the sake 

of other children. When I see children 

outside eating dirty roots, sleeping in 

dirty places, I usually feel pity for them 

but I have no choice but to only leave 

them there. Children usually suffer and 

that’s why I learn in school, to help them.

WHY AM  IN SCHOOL?

 

Why do we have FIVE days of work/school and only TWO days of time off?

I believe this is completely unfair. Five beats 2 by 3, that is a little TOO much. There's only 48 hours of time off, while there's 120 hours of sweat and peer pressure and things you don't want to do...6 hours everyday (for school, probably more time for work) for 5 days, and 6x5 is 30. 30 stinking hours of sweat and hard work. For the past 2 weeks, we've only had 3 days of school due to canceled days, and even that's a little too long, BUT, 3 days seems like the perfect amount of days for school and work, not 5. I mean, to me it's just so baffling how it's not a fair competition. 5 days of school, only 2 days of freedom-it's like freedom doesn't even have a chance!
Why is this like this, and how many days do you think we need of school/work and how many days for freedom, remember, we can't split it up equally....Unfortunately.
Thanks and have a great day, Blessings!

• 5 months ago
• Report Abuse

epicicit...

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

Well, school around the world seem to have lots of school days and only short breaks, except for summer vacation, where you get a few months off.

When you enter the work force, you can kiss that 'few months off' thing goodbye. Most employees in the United States only get around two weeks of paid vacation per year. Senior employees might get slightly more, and new hires, well, they are lucky if they get two weeks off a year.

Some European countries are quite different. I do not know what is behind the 'American way' of working employees to such extents. In some of the Scandinavian countries (Norway, Sweden, Denmark), well, employees *do* get around 8 weeks or 2 months of paid vacation per year in their work lives. It makes for happier, more relaxed, and more productive employees.

I think that the USA sort of fell into the 'capitalism trap'. Not that capitalism is a bad model (although it might be), but society took it so far. Now the thought-pattern that seems to be drummed so loudly is "You must WORK for what you want. You MUST devote your entire life to work so that you can purchase material items. Nothing else matters !"

All that mindset does is make the mega-corporations richer and richer ... while you, the worker, are working your a$$ off and never really have time to enjoy any of those lovely material items that the media has convinced you that you 'need'. ;)

Actually, nowadays, when you enter the workforce, you might find that you cannot even get 40 hours a week for a 'full-time' job. Corporations are starting to keep hours low (to increase their own profits). Of course, in your 32-hour work week, which probably will include you working 5 days a week anyway, you *will* be expected to do as much work as you would have had to do in the past in a 40-hour work week.

Best solution ?

Run for Congress, i.e. try to become a Senator or a House Representative.
Check out what they get:

- They only work about 140 days a year. (and short days at that).
- They make about $ 180,000 per year (and vote themselves a raise every year).
- They have a private health insurance program. (No 'Obamacare' for them, nu-uh).
- They have a private pension waiting for them.
- They are set for life. They are the 'power elite'. They are the 1%.

~~~~~~~~~~
Also, there's kind of a way to look at it mathematically. You say it is 'unfair' to have work or school 5 days a week. The problem with that argument is ... you're not at work or school for the entire day. :)

There are (7 x 24) = 168 hours per week

Yes, you attend school for say 6 hours a day, so that's 30 hours a week. I'll tack on 8 more hours for travel time to and from school.

So that's 38 hours = (38/168) = 22.6% of your week. (Not as much as you might have thought, huh?) Yes, I understand that you have to do homework, which adds some hours.

OK. Then you sleep for say 8 hours a day.
That's (8 x 7) = 56 hours of the week, or (56/168) = 33.3% of your week.

So, check it out ... how much 'free time' is left? even after school hours and sleeping?

100% - 22.6% - 33.3% = (100% - 55.9%) = 44.1%

Do you see? Even after all your school hours and stuff 5 days a week, and your 8 hours of sleep every night, you *still* have almost one-half of the total hours in a week to do whatever you want to do !!
Scholarship  for study abroad

 
university study abroad
aiu.edu/www.aiu.edu
work & study in abroad 

Ideal Home

Do you know 
The home is not just a building. It is an atmosphere, a place you are always eager to be. A home is a place where a family lives. The first home on earth was a garden. This gives two impressions of a home: 1. A place to enjoy––beautiful, peaceful, welcoming. 2. A place to tend and make beautiful. The most important element of the home, however, is not the building (how large or how beautiful it is), but the relationship existing between the people within. 

•  
•  
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• 1. How to Make Your Home an IslamicSEE
• 2. A House vs a Home Houses mentioned in the Qur’an Ahadeeth on homes Practical ways of Islamizing the home Building a Home in the Hereafter
• 3. Practical Advices based on a book by Shaykh Salih Al-Munajjid
• 4. A House vs a Home Definitions
• 5. Definitions A House – walls, roof, windows doors etc. A Home – a place of warmth, respect, comfort, love, security, etc A home could therefore be a mansion or a shack.
• 6. Houses mentioned in the Qur’an But those who heed their Lord will have mansions raised upon mansions high, beneath which runnning waters flow. That is Allah's promise. Allah does not break His promise. (Surat az-Zumar, 20) Platters and cups of gold will be passed around among them, and they will have there all that their hearts desire and in which their eyes find delight. You will remain in it timelessly, forever. (Surat az-Zukhruf, 71)
• 7. The Spider’s house (The parable of those who take protectors other than Allah is that of the spider, who builds (to itself) a house; but truly the flimsiest of houses is the spider's house;- if they but knew) (Surat Al-Ankabot: 41).
• 8. House of the Bee "And your Lord inspired the Bee, saying: 'Take your habitations in the mountains and the trees and in what they erect. Then eat of all fruits, and follow the ways of your Lord, made easy (for you).' There comes forth from their bellies a drink of varying colour wherein is a healing for men. Verily, in this is indeed a sign for people who think." [Al-Quran 16:68-69]
• 9. "And Allah has made for you in your homes a place of rest..."[An-Nahl:80]
• 10. Is Your Home an Islamic Home? Your automatic response: "Why, of course my home is an Islamic Home!! My family is Muslim and that makes our home a Muslim one!!"
• 11. Checklist …to determine if your home is really Islamic.
• 12. Guide / Encourage Your Spouse A pious spouse is more likely to bring happiness and contentment to the other spouse and the couple together will be more able to build a righteous family and home life. This is the foundation of the home. Striving to strengthen imaan; paying attention to worship and correcting it, encouraging reading the Quran, encouraging your husband to attend Jumah prayers, giving charity, reading books on Islam, helping to choose pious friends, etc.
• 13. Our Home is a Place for Remembrance of Allah Remembrance can be in many forms: with the heart, with the tongue, through prayer, recitation of Qur'an, memorizing adhkaar and using them, discussing Islamic issues, or reading Islamic material. These are things that should occur on a consistent basis so that the angels will come to the home and bring Allah's blessings.
• 14. The Living and The Dead A comparison
• 15. Our Home is a Place for Remembrance of Allah The Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wasallam, said: "The example of a home in which Allah is remembered and the example of a home in which Allah is not remembered, is like comparing the living and the dead." (Muslim).
• 16. A Place of Worship
• 17. Our Home is a Place of Worship Salah is established within the home at its required time and that members of the family pray in congregation when several are present. For men, it is recommended to pray voluntary prayers at home after having prayed obligatory prayers in the masjid.
• 18. Our Home is a Place of Worship For women, it is better to pray each prayer within the home. "The voluntary prayer in the home is better than the voluntary prayer with the people. It is like the obligatory prayer of the man in congregation being better than praying the obligatory by himself." (Sahih al-Jaami).
• 19. We Regularly read Surat Al-Baqarah and Ayatul Kursi to Keep Satan Away The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu alayhe wasallam, said: "Recite Surat Al-Baqarah in your houses, for the Satan does not enter a house in which Surat Al-Baqarah is recited." (Sahih al-Jaami).
• 20. We Regularly read Surat Al-Baqarah and Ayatul Kursi to Keep Satan Away "When you go to your bed, recite Ayatul Kursi: 'Allah! There is no god but Him, the Ever-Living, the One Who Sustains and Protects all that exists', to the end, for then there will remain over you a guardian from Allah, and Satan will not come near you until morning." (Bukhari).
• 21. Ayatul Kursi – Surah al Baqarah: 255
• 22. Teaching and Learning
• 23. Teaching and Learning are Ongoing Activities in Our Home This is primarily the responsibility of the head of die household Guiding his family to the correct path, enjoining them to do good, and forbidding them from evil is the father’s responsibility Attaining knowledge is incumbent upon all members of the family
• 24. Teaching and Learning are Ongoing Activities in Our Home A study circle should be established in the home that covers the various areas in Islam and from which all family members will benefit. Children should especially be encouraged to participate since this will establish a pattern for them that will be carried throughout their lifetimes.
• 25. Family studying Qur’an together
• 26. Islamic Library – Do you have one?
• 27. We Have an Islamic Library in Our Home This may include such things as books, CDs, DVDs, Magazines It is important to choose accurate and reliable material that will benefit the members of the family. Books should cover a variety of topics,
• 28. We Have an Islamic Library in Our Home Audiotapes and CDs may include Qur'an recitation, lectures, khutbahs, tapes for children containing supplications, reminders of Islamic manners Family members should encourage one another to use these materials on a regular basis, and should be shared with other Muslim families who may be in need of them.
• 29. Some of the books in my Library
• 30. Morals like the Prophet Muhammad (saw)
• 31. We Try to Have Morals and Manners Like Prophet Muhammad The Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, said; "When Allah wills some good towards the people of a household. He introduces kindness among them." (Ahmad, Sahih al-Jaami). There are many examples of the Prophet's kindness and good treatment toward his family that we should try to emulate.
• 32. Inviting the Righteous and knowledgeable to your home.
• 33. We Invite Righteous and Knowledgeable People to Our Home رَّبِّ اغْفِرْلِىْ وَلِـوَالِدَىَّ وَلِمَنْ دَخَلَ بَيْتِىَ مُؤْمِنًا وَّلِلْمُؤْمِنِيْنَ وَالْمُؤْمِنٰتِ "My Lord! Forgive me, and my parents, and him who enters my home as a believer, and all the believing men and women." [Surah Nuh, 71:28].
• 34. We Invite Righteous and Knowledgeable People to Our Home Righteous people who enter your home will bring many benefits due to their presence and conversations with them. They are more likely to discuss useful topics and may be excellent sources of information and knowledge.
• 35. We Invite Righteous and Knowledgeable People to Our Home We should always make du'aa that Allah will bless us with righteous friends since they can have such positive effects on us The Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wasallam, said: "Keep company with a believer only, and let your food be eaten only by the righteous." (Abu Dawud, Tirmithi).
• 36. Make sure there are no evils in your home.
• 37. There are No Evils Within Our Home Television (except possibly for educational programs) and unlawful music are not allowed in the house Pictures on the wall do not contain animate beings There are no statues or anything that resembles statues
• 38. There are No Evils Within Our Home Decorations are kept simple to avoid excessiveness The telephone is used for beneficial purposes and not harmful ones (such as gossiping or backbiting) The Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, said: "Angels do not enter a house which has either a dog or a picture in it." (Bukhari).
• 39. Be a customs guard to all evil from entering your home Movies Friends Magazines Music Food and drink Clothing Language
• 40. Using Duahs from the Sunnah
• 41. Say Sunnah Duahs in your home "If a man goes out of his house and says, 'Bismillah, Tawakkaltu Ala Allah, La Hawla Wa La Quwwata Illa Billah (In the name of Allah, I put my trust in Allah, there is no help and no strength except in Allah),' it will be said to him, 'This will take care of you, you are guided, you have what you need and you are protected.' The Shaytan will stay away from him, and another Shaytan will say to him, 'What can you do with a man who is guided, provided for and protected?'" (Abu Dawud and Tirmidhi)
• 42. Say Sunnah Duahs in your home The messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: "When any one of you enters his home and mentions the Name of Allah when he enters and when he eats, the Shaytan says: 'You have no place to stay and nothing to eat here.' If he enters and does not mention the name of Allah when he enters, [the Shaytan] says, 'You have a place to stay.' If he does not mention the name of Allah when he eats, [the Shaytan says], 'You have a place to stay and something to eat.'". (Ahmad)
• 43. Other Simple Duahs Before and after Eating Before and after Toileting Before and after Sleeping etc
• 44. Building a Home in the Hereafter The Most important home
• 45. A Home in the Hereafter What materials do you need? What currency do we use to buy material? How do we purchase our plot of land? What kind of work do we have to do to get currency used for purchase? What size of house am I allowed to build?
• 46. The home – better and enduring [87:17] بَلْ تُؤْثِرُوْنَ الْحَيٰوةَ الدُّنْيَا But you prefer the life of this world, [87:18] وَالْاٰخِرَةُ خَيْرٌ وَّ اَبْقٰى Whereas the Hereafter is better and more lasting.
• 47. Thank You May Allah help us to make our homes Islamic.

OUR BED ROOM & YOUR HOME

Health education

Health and Education

The wealth of knowledge acquired by an individual after studying particular subject matters or experiencing life lessons that provide an understanding of something. Education requires instruction of some sort from an individual or composed literature. The most common forms of education result from years of schooling that incorporates studies of a variety of subjects. "Jamie knew the importance of an education, so she chose to go to a four-year university after graduating from high school.

Health is

The word health means different things to different people, depending on the situation. If somebody says "I was worried about my husband's health when he climbed Mt. Everest", it is clear that the woman is referring to her husband's physical health, possibly his heart, skin (frostbite) and risk of developing hypothermia (when the body's temperature drops too low.

On the other hand, if you hear the phrase "With all these deadlines, presentations and working weekends, I wonder what the effect will be on her health," most likely the word "health" refers more to mental health than physical health (although the two are often linked).

The words "health" or "healthy" can also be used in non-medical contexts. For example "A healthy economy needs an ideal GDP growth rate that is sustainable, one that remains in the expansion phase of the business cycle as long as possible."

The English word "health" comes from the Old English word hale, meaning "wholeness, being whole, sound or well,". Hale comes from the Proto-Indo-European root kailo, meaning "whole, uninjured, of good omen". Kailo comes from the Proto-Germanic root khalbas, meaning "something divided".

Medilexicon's medical dictionary has three definitions for health, the first being "The state of the organism when it functions optimally without evidence of disease or abnormality" (click here to read the other two).

World Health Organization's (WHO's) definition of "health"

The most famous modern definition of health was created during a Preamble to the Constitution of the World Health Organization as adopted by the International Health Conference, New York, 19-22 June, 1946; signed on 22 July 1946 by the representatives of 61 States (Official Records of the World Health Organization, no. 2, p. 100) and entered into force on 7 April 1948.

"Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity."

The Definition has not been amended since 1948.

During the Ottawa Charter for Health Promotion in 1986, the WHO said that health is:

"a resource for everyday life, not the objective of living. Health is a positive concept emphasizing social and personal resources, as well as physical capacities."

WHAT IS HEALTH?

Health is metabolic efficiency. Sickness is metabolic inefficiency. Nobody is totally healthy or totally sick. Each of us is a unique combination of health and sickness. And each of us has a unique combination of abilities and disabilities, both emotional and physical.

As we grow up, we learn that we are loved for our abilities but hated for our disabilities. This happens at home, at play, at school, and at work. Sometimes, this even happens with our doctors, especially if our disabilities mystify them or remind them of their own disabilities.

So, we try to hide our disabilities from people and from ourselves. This charade undermines our relationships and our self-esteem. We learn to fear society and hate ourselves.

Self-hatred is the most debilitating sickness. It interferes with our ability to seek and accept help. And everybody needs help. How do we free ourselves from self-hatred?

First, we reclaim our disabilities, whether society accepts them or not. This means that we learn to accept ourselves. Then, we cope with our disabilities. This means that we learn to take care of ourselves.

 Education is“Education” is a broad term that can have many meanings, but it is generally defined as the process of learning and acquiring information. Formal learning in a school or university is one of the most common types, though self-teaching and so-called “life experiences” can also qualify. Communities around the world place a high value on educating people of all ages, whether formally or informally. It is widely believed that constant exposure to new ideas and skills makes people better workers, thinkers, and societal contributors.

Formal Schooling

Most people associate education with schools and classrooms where trained teachers present information to students. Classroom learning generally starts when a child is relatively young — around age five in most countries — and continues until the teenage years. The purpose of most classroom learning is not to prepare a child for a specific job, but rather to help him or her develop critical reasoning and thinking skills. Reading, writing, and math are very common lessons for young learners. As students progress in their schooling, they often come into contact with more challenging subjects like written composition, history, and advanced sciences.